Meaning, last working day. How I wanted to end on a high note - and how incredibly off-pitch that note was. One child sick (he was the best behaved, however), one child screaming, one child beastly, and my least-favorite of the friends. I have a few new bruises (courtesty of beastly child), and I ended up bleeding twice. One was my own fault, at least (I stubbed that toe WAY hard), the other I had my fingers in a toy chest cleaning up and as I pulled my hand out someone decdied that was the best time to jump on the lid. OUCH. Pain I can deal with - but that girl, I swear, I think it's her goal that I leave joyously thankful that I get to get away.
Anyways, I'm really hoping that tomorrow goes well, as it's my last day with the family, since I leave early Sunday morning. I really want to not be rejoicing that I'm leaving. I want to have fond memories of here, and not the kind that fill my head after nights like these.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Madrigalchor Vechta
So, maybe it's because I'm me, and a choir nerd, and this is what I'm used to. Maybe because it's the first place I found outside of the house here. Or maybe it's because music is the true international language and brings people together. Whatever the reason, my choir is the one place here that I have truly felt wholly and completely comfortable.
And tonight was my last night.
The prospect of leaving this family does not make me want to cry. I didn't cry saying goodbye to the house-group. But I wanted to cry tonight as I said goodbye to a room full of the world's sweetest ladies and gentlemen. No one really knew until the break that this was my last night, and the reaction floored me. Ange-Marie, who does all the announcements, asked me shockedly if it was true, and then announced my departure to the choir. There was such a loud moan! Almost everyone in the choir came to shake my hand and wish me luck or condolences for being "rausgeschmissen" (thrown out). Everyone - including me! - was sad that I wouldn't be there for the concert in May; I was supposed to sing a couple solos.
What struck me so, though, is I have never, ever had so many rooms, beds, or offers to find a job to choose from! If I didn't have Brad & Debbie to go to, I have several of the sweetest German people who would take me in, just like that. Even after I told them I had a place, they still insisted that if anything should fall through, I change my mind, or decide before going home that I want to come back to Vechta, I have somewhere to sleep. I have a whole stack of phone numbers and e-mail addresses from people filling my wallet, in case I should ever need anything while I'm still here. Everyone was so sincere, and so kind, I almost broke out in tears to have to leave them.
I truly can't explain quite how I feel right now. These people are so, so very different from my guest-family. Several were rather indignant that my family would dare to do such a thing to me, and I tried to explain that I wasn't totally disappointed to have to leave them sooner than planned. But it still is very, very sudden. I thought I had three months left with these people. The only time my German is perfect is in choir, I don't know why. Maybe it's because I'm so comfortable there. And I now feel so loved, part of me thought, gee, I could almost take one of them up on their offer of a room just so I can stay in choir! I can't remember the last time I have been so truly moved by anything. My director, a wonderful man, thanked me for joining their choir - for searching them out on the internet (apparently, the website was never, ever really used, but he said, look! one good thing came of the trouble it took to put it up!) - and complimented me on my singing and playing, and wished me luck in my studies. Ange-Marie was sad she couldn't throw a party. :)
This is the first real, sad goodbye I've had. Leaving home to come here wasn't very sad, I was too excited to be moving to Europe. Leaving Larissa in January wasn't terrible because I knew I was going to see her again. Leaving the house group wasn't terribly sad because I wasn't terribly close with any of them. Leaving this family won't be very sad because I'll be too excited to get away (that sounds harsh, I'm sorry). But leaving choir . . . I miss them already. Choir is my life, and this one was the one thing in my year here that was just like it always is, has been, and will be; simply in another spoken language. And I wish I could put into words the sadness I feel at leaving them, and the glow that comes from knowing someone here cares about me.
I'll remember this night for a long, long time.
And tonight was my last night.
The prospect of leaving this family does not make me want to cry. I didn't cry saying goodbye to the house-group. But I wanted to cry tonight as I said goodbye to a room full of the world's sweetest ladies and gentlemen. No one really knew until the break that this was my last night, and the reaction floored me. Ange-Marie, who does all the announcements, asked me shockedly if it was true, and then announced my departure to the choir. There was such a loud moan! Almost everyone in the choir came to shake my hand and wish me luck or condolences for being "rausgeschmissen" (thrown out). Everyone - including me! - was sad that I wouldn't be there for the concert in May; I was supposed to sing a couple solos.
What struck me so, though, is I have never, ever had so many rooms, beds, or offers to find a job to choose from! If I didn't have Brad & Debbie to go to, I have several of the sweetest German people who would take me in, just like that. Even after I told them I had a place, they still insisted that if anything should fall through, I change my mind, or decide before going home that I want to come back to Vechta, I have somewhere to sleep. I have a whole stack of phone numbers and e-mail addresses from people filling my wallet, in case I should ever need anything while I'm still here. Everyone was so sincere, and so kind, I almost broke out in tears to have to leave them.
I truly can't explain quite how I feel right now. These people are so, so very different from my guest-family. Several were rather indignant that my family would dare to do such a thing to me, and I tried to explain that I wasn't totally disappointed to have to leave them sooner than planned. But it still is very, very sudden. I thought I had three months left with these people. The only time my German is perfect is in choir, I don't know why. Maybe it's because I'm so comfortable there. And I now feel so loved, part of me thought, gee, I could almost take one of them up on their offer of a room just so I can stay in choir! I can't remember the last time I have been so truly moved by anything. My director, a wonderful man, thanked me for joining their choir - for searching them out on the internet (apparently, the website was never, ever really used, but he said, look! one good thing came of the trouble it took to put it up!) - and complimented me on my singing and playing, and wished me luck in my studies. Ange-Marie was sad she couldn't throw a party. :)
This is the first real, sad goodbye I've had. Leaving home to come here wasn't very sad, I was too excited to be moving to Europe. Leaving Larissa in January wasn't terrible because I knew I was going to see her again. Leaving the house group wasn't terribly sad because I wasn't terribly close with any of them. Leaving this family won't be very sad because I'll be too excited to get away (that sounds harsh, I'm sorry). But leaving choir . . . I miss them already. Choir is my life, and this one was the one thing in my year here that was just like it always is, has been, and will be; simply in another spoken language. And I wish I could put into words the sadness I feel at leaving them, and the glow that comes from knowing someone here cares about me.
I'll remember this night for a long, long time.
Abschiedsfeier
(going-away party)So, Tuesday night was my last night in my house-group Bible study. Sad day!! Those are wonderful people. Anyways, they had a little night for me, with chips and cookies and pudding and a special pizza-soup. :) They even gave me a gift! I got a notepad, and a rasberry-vanilla-cream-chocolate bar, a few Euro, and a cd of the Jungel Book, 'cause everyone knows of me and my Disney-fanatacism. (that may or may not be a word? my english is beginning to fail me!) They also all wrote me a postcard, usually with a verse or two. And they gave me a cd with all the pictures we took that night, as well as from our 24-2 prayer weekend. Before I left, they all gathered 'round and prayed for me, that my trip home would be safe and for God's blessings in my future, and I was really very touched.
So, above is our nice, normal, smiling picture, and here's the "real" picture. Gotta love it. :)
So, above is our nice, normal, smiling picture, and here's the "real" picture. Gotta love it. :)
Back Row: Thomas, David, Marc, Marten
Middle Row: Johanna, Lois, Ulla, Simone
Front Row: Tim, Jan, Jana, Laura
Middle Row: Johanna, Lois, Ulla, Simone
Front Row: Tim, Jan, Jana, Laura
Sunday, February 24, 2008
The Time Has Come, the Walrus Said...
To talk of many things: of shoes and ships and sealing wax; of cabbages and kings; and when the sea is boiling hot; and whether pigs have wings. Or of how this is my LAST WEEK with the family! Yikes!
I think this whole things is being held against me by a certain 8-year-old who seems to be determined to make me pay for leaving early (because of course it's my fault) by being absolutely beastly to me every chance she gets. I haven't heard a single pleasant thing from her since about 16:45 on Wednesday afternoon. It's not exactly making me wish I could stay here longer...but everything else is going well. I've started packing - a daunting task that leaves me prone to being easily distracted by just about anything. How I wish my wonderful, talented mother was here to help me, like she did when I was coming over here! I fear I may never get it myself.
Today was my last Sunday at church - and I finally got to sing on praise team!! Perfect timing. It was a blast. I will be thrilled to go back home to Palmcroft, though. I found out that my college pastor, the amazing John Craft, has his sermons on iTunes as podcasts...how I wish I'd known that a few months ago when I was desperately missing home, instead of now when I know I'll be there in a month! Sigh. It's still cool to hear them, though, and to hear the voices of my friends answering questions or being talked about during announcements. A little piece of home.
I think this whole things is being held against me by a certain 8-year-old who seems to be determined to make me pay for leaving early (because of course it's my fault) by being absolutely beastly to me every chance she gets. I haven't heard a single pleasant thing from her since about 16:45 on Wednesday afternoon. It's not exactly making me wish I could stay here longer...but everything else is going well. I've started packing - a daunting task that leaves me prone to being easily distracted by just about anything. How I wish my wonderful, talented mother was here to help me, like she did when I was coming over here! I fear I may never get it myself.
Today was my last Sunday at church - and I finally got to sing on praise team!! Perfect timing. It was a blast. I will be thrilled to go back home to Palmcroft, though. I found out that my college pastor, the amazing John Craft, has his sermons on iTunes as podcasts...how I wish I'd known that a few months ago when I was desperately missing home, instead of now when I know I'll be there in a month! Sigh. It's still cool to hear them, though, and to hear the voices of my friends answering questions or being talked about during announcements. A little piece of home.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Life Comes At You Fast
Well, this is probably going to be the most shocking entry I ever write.
I'm leaving this family next week.
Yes, you read that right. Sunday, March 2nd, I'm getting on a train and going away. Am I running away? No. Am I fired? No. It's rather a long story...my guest-mother came to me yesterday (wow, it seems like so much longer!) and asked if I had a flight home already. I said no, we're looking at May 19th, but we haven't bought the ticket yet. Well, she said, the thing is...
They've found the lady they want as their next Kinderfrau. They're done with Aupairs, they want someone permanent. It's hard to find someone willing to work afternoons, and who lives here nearby, and is willing to be here long-term, and this lady apparently worked for my guest-mother's boss for like 10 years with his kids, so she's got great references, yada yada yada. Great, why are you telling me this? Well, she's been unemployed for a while now, and after a certain amount of time, the German unemployment agency stops giving you money, and she needs a job now. If they don't let her start early, she's going to have to look for a different job, and they really really want her, and don't want to have to do the whole search again, it takes so long and is so difficult. So, they ask if I can fly home early. Sure, no problem, I don't have to stay for my choir concert if it will help. How early are we talking about? Well, she wants to start March 3rd.
...
..........!!
What?!?!?! Did I hear that correctly? I only have to work here for 10 more days, and then just - that's it? Go home? WOW what just happened here?? I just started my 3 month countdown, and it suddenly got jumped to like 2 weeks! Less than! WHAT? It took a very long time to sink in. Actually, I'm pretty sure it still hasn't entirely sunken in.
So, yes. Next Friday is my last day of work, Saturday is packing, and Sunday is getting on a train. A train, not a plane. I'm not ready to leave Germany yet!!! So, thanks to the grace of God and the generosity of the Ellgens, I am going to live with Brad and Debbie for about a month before flying home. I'll help them out in any way I can, enjoy the rest of my time in Germany, and, of course, see Rob. God is good!
Most of you know this because you were praying for me, but about two weeks ago, I almost quit and came home. I was so sick of dealing with some things, I called my parents crying and asked them to bring me home. After the rest of the day, I had calmed down and thought things through and knew I didn't really want to just up and leave, but at the same time, I was so exhausted from struggling with some of the things here and wanted to give up. Mom reminded me of God's promise that no temptation has overcome us but that which is common to man, and that He will not give us anything we can't handle, but along with it provides a way of escape. I resolved to trust Him and stick out my last 3 months, no matter what, because to say God isn't enough would be terrible. Two weeks later, God has provided my way out - and I didn't have to quit or get fired or anything, AND I get to go back to the Festaburg, which in my opinion beats Disneyland any day for The Happiest Place on Earth.
So, WOW! That's all I can say, wow. I'm still rather overwhelmed by the shock of it all, and a little stressed that my time here has suddenly been chopped, but it's all in God's hands. If any of you think of something you'd like me to bring you from over here, please let me know!! I thought I had a lot more time to work on that, but not anymore!
I'll still keep blogging, even though the Aupair year will be over. And, I'll see you all in April!!
I'm leaving this family next week.
Yes, you read that right. Sunday, March 2nd, I'm getting on a train and going away. Am I running away? No. Am I fired? No. It's rather a long story...my guest-mother came to me yesterday (wow, it seems like so much longer!) and asked if I had a flight home already. I said no, we're looking at May 19th, but we haven't bought the ticket yet. Well, she said, the thing is...
They've found the lady they want as their next Kinderfrau. They're done with Aupairs, they want someone permanent. It's hard to find someone willing to work afternoons, and who lives here nearby, and is willing to be here long-term, and this lady apparently worked for my guest-mother's boss for like 10 years with his kids, so she's got great references, yada yada yada. Great, why are you telling me this? Well, she's been unemployed for a while now, and after a certain amount of time, the German unemployment agency stops giving you money, and she needs a job now. If they don't let her start early, she's going to have to look for a different job, and they really really want her, and don't want to have to do the whole search again, it takes so long and is so difficult. So, they ask if I can fly home early. Sure, no problem, I don't have to stay for my choir concert if it will help. How early are we talking about? Well, she wants to start March 3rd.
...
..........!!
What?!?!?! Did I hear that correctly? I only have to work here for 10 more days, and then just - that's it? Go home? WOW what just happened here?? I just started my 3 month countdown, and it suddenly got jumped to like 2 weeks! Less than! WHAT? It took a very long time to sink in. Actually, I'm pretty sure it still hasn't entirely sunken in.
So, yes. Next Friday is my last day of work, Saturday is packing, and Sunday is getting on a train. A train, not a plane. I'm not ready to leave Germany yet!!! So, thanks to the grace of God and the generosity of the Ellgens, I am going to live with Brad and Debbie for about a month before flying home. I'll help them out in any way I can, enjoy the rest of my time in Germany, and, of course, see Rob. God is good!
Most of you know this because you were praying for me, but about two weeks ago, I almost quit and came home. I was so sick of dealing with some things, I called my parents crying and asked them to bring me home. After the rest of the day, I had calmed down and thought things through and knew I didn't really want to just up and leave, but at the same time, I was so exhausted from struggling with some of the things here and wanted to give up. Mom reminded me of God's promise that no temptation has overcome us but that which is common to man, and that He will not give us anything we can't handle, but along with it provides a way of escape. I resolved to trust Him and stick out my last 3 months, no matter what, because to say God isn't enough would be terrible. Two weeks later, God has provided my way out - and I didn't have to quit or get fired or anything, AND I get to go back to the Festaburg, which in my opinion beats Disneyland any day for The Happiest Place on Earth.
So, WOW! That's all I can say, wow. I'm still rather overwhelmed by the shock of it all, and a little stressed that my time here has suddenly been chopped, but it's all in God's hands. If any of you think of something you'd like me to bring you from over here, please let me know!! I thought I had a lot more time to work on that, but not anymore!
I'll still keep blogging, even though the Aupair year will be over. And, I'll see you all in April!!
Saturday, February 16, 2008
9 Months
Yes, I have been here 9 months. 3/4 of my year is over!! The last three months have arrived. Wow. 75% done. Wow. Wow. I know, very articulate, aren't I?
So, today was interesting. Remember how I told you that the lady at church wanted me to teach sign for a mother's evening performance or something? Well, I went in today to do that, and found out that I'm really doing something very, very different. (I didn't think my German was that bad!!) Instead of teaching them sign for a song they want to do, I'm choreographing a dance - or two, or three - for them to perform. I get to pick the music, choreograph it, and then teach them. Woo-hoo! Kind of a surprise - but sounds like fun!! I will also hopefully be helping with another group of these kids who are doing sketches and scenes and stuff. Fun fun fun fun fun.
Oh, and I went to IKEA today - SO much fun!! The store is simply amazing. I love it. It excites me like no other. I could spend so many fortunes there!! It's kind of a dangerous place, because it gets me thinking about decorating everything...hmmm :)
So, today was interesting. Remember how I told you that the lady at church wanted me to teach sign for a mother's evening performance or something? Well, I went in today to do that, and found out that I'm really doing something very, very different. (I didn't think my German was that bad!!) Instead of teaching them sign for a song they want to do, I'm choreographing a dance - or two, or three - for them to perform. I get to pick the music, choreograph it, and then teach them. Woo-hoo! Kind of a surprise - but sounds like fun!! I will also hopefully be helping with another group of these kids who are doing sketches and scenes and stuff. Fun fun fun fun fun.
Oh, and I went to IKEA today - SO much fun!! The store is simply amazing. I love it. It excites me like no other. I could spend so many fortunes there!! It's kind of a dangerous place, because it gets me thinking about decorating everything...hmmm :)
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Sunshine
The sun is shining for the FOURTH day in a row!! This is noteworthy!! Beautiful sunshine! How I love it. :) This has been a good weekend. Sleeping in, being sick - okay, so that one's not so good, but at least it's just a cold - driving, shopping, munching, and taking long bike rides through beautiful german countryside. This is what it looks like by me - jealous? :) [if you click you can get it bigger]
Oh, and something cool happened today. I have no voice at the moment, so in church I was signing with all the songs, and one lady happened to take notice and came up to me afterwards. She said she couldn't help but keep watching me, because it was fascinating, and just what she was looking for. Apparently she's planning some kind of mother's evening at the church, and some of the jr high age girls are performing there, and they were looking for some kind of dance or something to do - and she thought sign would be perfect. So next Saterday - and a few after that - I get to teach sign language!! Just to a song or so, but still - exciting!!
Oh, and something cool happened today. I have no voice at the moment, so in church I was signing with all the songs, and one lady happened to take notice and came up to me afterwards. She said she couldn't help but keep watching me, because it was fascinating, and just what she was looking for. Apparently she's planning some kind of mother's evening at the church, and some of the jr high age girls are performing there, and they were looking for some kind of dance or something to do - and she thought sign would be perfect. So next Saterday - and a few after that - I get to teach sign language!! Just to a song or so, but still - exciting!!
Friday, February 8, 2008
OH YEAH
I almost forgot! Well, I did forget, and then I remembered again. I want to show you all the video from my time at the Festaburg!! Well, here you go. :)
New Year's at the Festaburg (Public Version)
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New Year's at the Festaburg (Public Version)
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525,600 Minutes...
Yes, RENT. Another new favorite musical. The story is...interesting, but my gosh is the music incredible. I've been singing it all week, and physically cannot get it out of my head. There's constantly a mixture of at least 4 songs running around, and I love it. :) I think I'm going to go watch it again....for like the fourth time this week...and I've watched all the extras, too.... :) Oh, and I think I'm in love with the character Mark Cohen. I haven't fallen in love with a movie character since...well, Legolas doesn't count, but before that was Han Solo, or Garrett from Quest for Camelot. This one beats them all.Anyways, there is another reason for the title. One year ago today, I heard about this job and wrote back. A very simple e-mail, asking for the information just for information's sake, never believing I could actually DO it. I just wanted to know all about it so I could dream and think how cool it would be. I wasn't serious when I told my mom and Aunt Pam about it two days later in line for the VNSA booksale. I'd been looking for nanny jobs around Phoenix, and when she asked how it was going, I said, "Haha, I've found the perfect nanny job."
Oh, really?
"Yeah, guess where?"
Where?
"Germany. Wouldn't that be amazing? Too bad I could never really do it."
Why not?
"Mom - it's Germany. Pack up for a year and just go?"
Yeah, why not?
Well, apparently, she was right, because here I am a year later, 3 months away from the end of my year here. One small step back then...and look how far it's come. It's interesting to think back to what was going on then, with school and choir and OneVoice and trying to find work and roommates and Southwestern and just everything. I miss it. I can already say, I cannot wait to go home. I'm gonna miss it here, and I love Germany, but I'm so close to being ready to come home. Once Rob's deployed, I'm ready to leave here.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
The Weather
Yes, this is a blog about the weather. You know, everyone always talks about talking about the weather as if it were a last-ditch conversation effort, but really, sometimes it really is worth mentioning! If it's been raining for a month solid and you get a morning of blue skies and sunshine, Yes! the weather is an exciting topic! If you live in Phoenix and the sun shines and bakes and fries and broils every single day of the year, and you wake up to the sound of raindrops, Yes! the weather is very exciting! And if it should happen to begin to really storm, YAY! call your friends (we were always 'storm buddies') and get excited together because the weather is so darn exciting!
I cannot wait to go back to having rain be something to look forward to instead of dread. It has rained every day for longer than I can keep count. I can hardly wait for spring. I love rain - in Phoenix. Here...it's just another day that we're mostly stuck playing inside, and it's cold and wet and muddy out. The weather has been mild, between about 2 and 10 degrees over the last couple weeks. Then today's weather was just . . . wow. I woke up to a partly cloudy sky, very excited to see blue. Then it was fully cloudy. Then fully sunny, with dark clouds on the horizon. Got some rain. More sunshine - actually got to wear my sunglasses! Then SNOW. Then sunshine. Then rain. Now it's dark and we can't see the weather anymore. But it's cooold. Woo-hoo. At least the sun has started getting up around 8 and going down at 5:30ish, instead of the mid-winter up at 9 and down by 4. Every day is a little longer....by the time I leave, it will be up at 5ish and down at 11ish. Yay sunlight!!
I cannot wait to go back to having rain be something to look forward to instead of dread. It has rained every day for longer than I can keep count. I can hardly wait for spring. I love rain - in Phoenix. Here...it's just another day that we're mostly stuck playing inside, and it's cold and wet and muddy out. The weather has been mild, between about 2 and 10 degrees over the last couple weeks. Then today's weather was just . . . wow. I woke up to a partly cloudy sky, very excited to see blue. Then it was fully cloudy. Then fully sunny, with dark clouds on the horizon. Got some rain. More sunshine - actually got to wear my sunglasses! Then SNOW. Then sunshine. Then rain. Now it's dark and we can't see the weather anymore. But it's cooold. Woo-hoo. At least the sun has started getting up around 8 and going down at 5:30ish, instead of the mid-winter up at 9 and down by 4. Every day is a little longer....by the time I leave, it will be up at 5ish and down at 11ish. Yay sunlight!!
Friday, February 1, 2008
An Expensive Mistake
So, I accidentally used up all my phone money. Which is saying something. :( Calling home from my landline here is really super cheap, and I had approx. a 20 euro per month limit. No problem, I maybe used the full twenty once or twice so far. Well, then came this month. Apparently, calling a german cell phone from a german landline is much more expensive than calling an American number from a german landline - who'da thunk it? So, this month, my phone usuage was pretty much the same as normal, just to a different kind of number - and there went the rest of my year's phone money. Ouuuuuch. So, now I get to pay my own phone bill, woo-hoo! I really don't mind that at all. I just feel bad, cause I really had NO IDEA that it cost that much more, and that's a lot of money I used up. I'm not going to mention the number. But I feel bad - more, I feel they're a little, well, disappointed isn't quite the right word, but maybe disapproving? But honestly, it was an accident - I had no idea at all. Dang it.
Ha, and to make things even 'better,' my pre-paid cell phone needs to be re-upped. I never use it, hardly, and haven't had to put more money on it since like July, but the timing would happen right after I have other phone/money issues. Joy.
So, just pray for me? That I don't feel so guilty about this or worry about it so much. Honestly, I hardly slept last night for worrying about it. See, originally there was only one number I couldn't call, and I could still call home and other stuff, so I was confused as to why it wasn't working, and then it stopped working all together, and I knew I'd used up all the money - and spent the whole night worrying about what I had done and what the consequences could be. Fortunately just a mild lecture and having to pay my own, but still.... :( I do feel badly. Very badly. Why does calling a german cell from a german landline have to be so darn expensive???
Ha, and to make things even 'better,' my pre-paid cell phone needs to be re-upped. I never use it, hardly, and haven't had to put more money on it since like July, but the timing would happen right after I have other phone/money issues. Joy.
So, just pray for me? That I don't feel so guilty about this or worry about it so much. Honestly, I hardly slept last night for worrying about it. See, originally there was only one number I couldn't call, and I could still call home and other stuff, so I was confused as to why it wasn't working, and then it stopped working all together, and I knew I'd used up all the money - and spent the whole night worrying about what I had done and what the consequences could be. Fortunately just a mild lecture and having to pay my own, but still.... :( I do feel badly. Very badly. Why does calling a german cell from a german landline have to be so darn expensive???
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