Madrigalchor Vechta

So, maybe it's because I'm me, and a choir nerd, and this is what I'm used to. Maybe because it's the first place I found outside of the house here. Or maybe it's because music is the true international language and brings people together. Whatever the reason, my choir is the one place here that I have truly felt wholly and completely comfortable.

And tonight was my last night.

The prospect of leaving this family does not make me want to cry. I didn't cry saying goodbye to the house-group. But I wanted to cry tonight as I said goodbye to a room full of the world's sweetest ladies and gentlemen. No one really knew until the break that this was my last night, and the reaction floored me. Ange-Marie, who does all the announcements, asked me shockedly if it was true, and then announced my departure to the choir. There was such a loud moan! Almost everyone in the choir came to shake my hand and wish me luck or condolences for being "rausgeschmissen" (thrown out). Everyone - including me! - was sad that I wouldn't be there for the concert in May; I was supposed to sing a couple solos.

What struck me so, though, is I have never, ever had so many rooms, beds, or offers to find a job to choose from! If I didn't have Brad & Debbie to go to, I have several of the sweetest German people who would take me in, just like that. Even after I told them I had a place, they still insisted that if anything should fall through, I change my mind, or decide before going home that I want to come back to Vechta, I have somewhere to sleep. I have a whole stack of phone numbers and e-mail addresses from people filling my wallet, in case I should ever need anything while I'm still here. Everyone was so sincere, and so kind, I almost broke out in tears to have to leave them.

I truly can't explain quite how I feel right now. These people are so, so very different from my guest-family. Several were rather indignant that my family would dare to do such a thing to me, and I tried to explain that I wasn't totally disappointed to have to leave them sooner than planned. But it still is very, very sudden. I thought I had three months left with these people. The only time my German is perfect is in choir, I don't know why. Maybe it's because I'm so comfortable there. And I now feel so loved, part of me thought, gee, I could almost take one of them up on their offer of a room just so I can stay in choir! I can't remember the last time I have been so truly moved by anything. My director, a wonderful man, thanked me for joining their choir - for searching them out on the internet (apparently, the website was never, ever really used, but he said, look! one good thing came of the trouble it took to put it up!) - and complimented me on my singing and playing, and wished me luck in my studies. Ange-Marie was sad she couldn't throw a party. :)

This is the first real, sad goodbye I've had. Leaving home to come here wasn't very sad, I was too excited to be moving to Europe. Leaving Larissa in January wasn't terrible because I knew I was going to see her again. Leaving the house group wasn't terribly sad because I wasn't terribly close with any of them. Leaving this family won't be very sad because I'll be too excited to get away (that sounds harsh, I'm sorry). But leaving choir . . . I miss them already. Choir is my life, and this one was the one thing in my year here that was just like it always is, has been, and will be; simply in another spoken language. And I wish I could put into words the sadness I feel at leaving them, and the glow that comes from knowing someone here cares about me.

I'll remember this night for a long, long time.